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I have this fear that Chase won't love our baby, that he won't connect with him since he hardly "interacts" with our baby in utero. I feel like I'm crazy. Chase probably thinks so too because I tell him this almost every day. It seriously consumes me!!! The funny thing is I really believe our baby already knows Chase. Whenever he gets a little crazy that it's painful for me, Chase can calm him down so easily just by rubbing my stomach and "talking" to him. I really do believe that. ...I'm crazy, aren't I..
I think it's the Korean in me. Traditionally, Korean dads are usually removed from raising their children. They mostly provide for the family and discipline the children. The mothers are the nurturers.
Even though I know Chase will be just as invested in raising our children as I will be, it's hard to get out of this cultural mindset that I've lived with and seen for most of my childhood. It does help that he's the most nicest and caring man I've ever known. I really don't know how I got so lucky. I'm really excited to see him as a dad, even with this fear of mine because I know he's going to make me forget I've ever had it.
2 comments:
It's a legit fear, but probably not one you really have to worry about. When my daughter was born, I felt like I was the one who didn't love her enough. Postpartum depression did a whopping number on me and it felt like months before I was in love with my baby.
I completely understand how you feel here. Traditionally Pakistani fathers don't do very much when it comes to nurturing the child either. And although my husband is Paki, he was born and raised here just like me, and I'm happy to say he's nothing like a traditional dad!
I think Chase will surprise you with how amazing he'll be with your little one :)
Oh, and you'll surprise yourself too!
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